by Julia Kean Niles
I first met Rob in 2007 in Aspen for our 12 day ski guides course. He let me crash in his friend's cabin the night before the course. The instant banter, compassion, and constant belly laughs endeared me to him forever. He set me up to prioritize fun in exams for the rest of my AMGA journey. My brush with death in 2006 when I lost half a lung to a tumor put me in "a fired up for life" frame of mind. It seemed Rob's permanent frame of mind resonated perfectly with this state.
Momento mori. Remember death. I'm back in Moab now, where Aimee Barnes' spirit is filling me up. In the feel of the crack on the back of my hand, as I walk through red sand where she guided me to my climbing projects or my kids to petroglyphs. As I rig for two strong and talented women that Aimee would have loved and mentored. And now new death to process. I contemplate young Olivia and Caroline without their Dad and Husband. And dear Rob who was so animated, it is nearly impossible to imagine him gone.
In 2010, in a run in with him and Rebel, we were both pregnant. I wondered out loud that she must be due soon- nope, just twins! How close their loss hits home- as I was guiding all season in Whistler in a year where crevasse hazard was higher than ever. And I know how much my Kodiak and Ava need both parents.
As I reread emails, I am impressed with the humor and banter- at one point I mistakenly sent him an email, a poem, meant for someone else. I signed it, "hot, sweaty love, Julia." And Rob wrote, "Whoa! lemme know if you have time in your busy scheule of hot, sweaty lovemaking and poem writing" as he invited me to go ice climbing. Oh god. He was constantly putting me in touch with great people, referring clients to me, reminding me to visit. We processed Johnny and Micah's deaths a bit together- and shared good and bad news. I still hope to connect with Rebecca as we are both counsellors now, and to get Kodiak, Dominic, and Luca together. So as I contemplate all of the "mori", I am going to let the lesson be- to be more like Rob- less inhibited, refuse fear, add laughter, and go hard for love, life, and connection. My heart is with you Rebel, Dominic, and Luca.
